|Mon, December 15, 2014 at 9:17 AM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
The other day I was listening to the audio book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey and he spoke of a concept called an Emotional Bank Account. The idea is that, just like an actual bank account, deposits and withdrawals can be made. Unfortunately, what often ends up happening is that we make too many deposits into someone else's account, leaving our own account depleted, especially if we don't have anyone making regular deposits into our account.
Now let me take it a step further. Not only are you making all of these withdrawals from your own account and deposits into the accounts of others, but you have also given a few people unlimited access to your account, by making them an authorized user or giving them your additional ATM cards. So now they can make withdrawals without your permission. Eventually, you find yourself not only empty, but overdrawn...and what happens when you don't bring an overdrawn account to a positive balance? The bank begins to charge you overdraft fees. So now, you are in emotional debt.
Clearly I could go on and on with this analogy, but let's not waste another moment on all of the things that can go wrong. Let's spend the rest of this message looking at a couple of things that we can do to get out of this emotional hole.
Give 10% - This is the well-known concept of tithing that you will not only find in spiritual and religious text, but also in several business books as being one of the major keys to wealth and success. Now let's look at it in terms of your emotional energy. It is ok to give some to help and support the people that you love, but limit it and give it where it is needed, appreciated and put to good use. When you do this, it is the equivalent of giving 10% of your income to your church or a charity. You will get it back multiple times over. When we give our emotional energy to negative people and situations, it's like throwing your money into a black hole or a bottomless pit...It's not coming back.
Pay Yourself First - We will bend over backwards to make sure everyone else in our lives has what they need first and then by the time that we do take a look at our own needs, if at all, it's far too late. Give yourself a substantial cut of the energy that you need to be whole before you begin divvying it out to everyone else. Now that I have begun to practice what I preach, for me it is as simple as waking up, praying, meditating, taking six deep breaths, going to yoga class THEN starting my day, which usually consists of giving to others in some way or another. But by giving to myself first...and I would also advise last (like at the end of each day), it is a lot less likely that my account will end up in that dreadful overdrawn status.
I think I will make this Emotional Debt topic a recurring one, because there is SO much that could be said about it, but for now I want you to just focus on and perhaps try out the few points that I hit on above. As soon as you begin practices that will replenish your emotional bank account you will feel so much lighter and clearer. For me, just realizing that it was an issue was so liberating in itself.
So this week I encourage you to sit down and take some time to plan out your emotional budget. How much will you save? How much will you give away? How much will you invest? Where will you allocate your funds? Make the commitment TODAY to get out of emotional debt. And remember, to start, it only takes one step
|Sat, December 13, 2014 at 11:02 PM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
Compton rapper Kendrick Lamar sits down with MTV to discuss his thoughts on Ferguson, the talk he had with his father on racial injustice.
"I remember coming up in the city of Compton, and having [those] same type of ordeals. Not as dramatic, but the same situation. So when i make a record like "i" this is not about me, this is not just a single. this is not about how many songs can be sold on a media base. It's about what goes on in real life in actual factual. so when you strip down the jury and strip down the chains what are you talking about?..."
"My father definitely talked to me about that early on-he came from Chicago to Compton, and he dealt with it his whole life," Kendrick said. "He knew the moment I was born [that] the color of my skin was gonna be put to the test, and that's just how it is. We have legacy, people who've died for it, but [there's] still that type of negativity out there."
"He told me, 'Every day, carry yourself with some integrity and don't let them see you sweat.'"
|Mon, December 08, 2014 at 8:14 AM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
It is our natural human tendency to proceed with caution. This might be necessary when it comes to blatant safety issues such as slippery floors or poorly lit roads, but what is our excuse for proceeding cautiously when it comes to the things that will improve the quality of our lives?
What do you want or need? Is it a new home? A better car? Employment? A mate? Now think about your approach to that thing that you hope for. Are you aggressively and assertively preparing for and or pursuing it, or are you tip toeing around it timidly hoping that it might happen, but secretly sabotaging yourself by not believing that you'll ever truly get it. Or even worse, settling for less than what you really want.
Let's combat this by changing our thinking and our language. Instead of thinking of it as simply a want or a need, think of it as something that you believe for. Once you are able to wrap your head around that, begin to visualize yourself in that desired situation.
Now that you've got your mind right, it's time to take a look at how you talk. It may simply be a matter of switching out the word "if" for the word "when", for example, "When I get a new car, I'm going to pay for full coverage insurance six months in advance." Isn't that so much more powerful than saying, "If I get a new car I'm going to try to pay for full coverage insurance, but I might just get no fault insurance at first, because I'm broke." In one simple sentence, you've already defeated yourself before you began.
I don't think we realize just how powerful our words are. What is in our mind comes out of our mouth, and then goes into our ears and right back into our mind. Now if that message is filled with negativity, self-doubt and fear, then look at the sad self-induced cycle that we get caught up in.
Sometimes our hesitance to speak confidently is a result of our worries about how others view us. Don't be driven by what other people might think if your vision doesn't come to pass. It's not about them, but you never know how hearing your strong faith may encourage or inspire them, so you very well may be doing them an injustice by not believing for what you want to receive and speaking accordingly.
I've told my mother the things that I'm going to do for her "WHEN I become a millionaire..." so many times, that when she got her last job she told her co-worker, "I'm only working here until my daughter becomes a millionaire." You see, the boldness and the confidence that is infused in your words and your thoughts is contagious. You are not only setting up your life to receive the things that you believe for, but you are simultaneously motivating other people to have that same unwavering faith. So today I encourage you to mentally and verbally claim what is yours. Stop proceeding with caution and begin to proceed with confidence
|Wed, December 03, 2014 at 11:01 AM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
An injustice often makes for a good movie storyboard; unfortunate that the situation has to be so tragic in this case. Did you see 'Fruitvale Station' (the tragic story of Oscar Grant's shooting)? This is going to be another incredibly painful why-dammit-whyyyy experience like that. Should be a powerful film to watch. Inspired by the tragic shooting death of Trayvon Martin.
"Journey Home" is a non profit independent short film inspired by the tragic death of Trayvon Martin. This film captures the reality of life's frailty and the resounding impact the loss of life has on those connected. This film is not a reenactment, or attempt to depict the events that led to the death of Trayvon Martin. Journey Home is about the potential of one's life that can be lost in a moment because of the situations we encounter and the decisions we make every day. We want the viewers of this film to reflect on the low point of their teenage years when they rebelled against parents, acted out in school, hung out with the wrong crowd, or just had a poor focus on life. When they have recognized that point in time, then we will ask them to imagine if they had died at that very point? What would those who only had a superficial view of your life have said about you then? Would you have been called a loser, slacker, thug, dropout, slut, rebel, thief, drug addict, or just plain stupid? Our "Journey Home" is a series of intersections we face at every moment in life, and when two paths cross sometimes it ends in tragedy. This film we take viewers through a series of emotions from compassion, to anger, and from love to despair. Hopefully leaving them asking the simple question, how much of my potential would have been unknown to the world if I died at 17. We look forward to your support #me@17#JourneyHome
Directed by Q Will. Music Provided by Jenna Anne.
|Mon, December 01, 2014 at 7:05 AM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
Today is the day to begin cleaning house. I mean this literally and figuratively, inside and out. This is the beginning of the last month of the year so we must sit down and reflect on 2014 and think about what we want 2015 to look like. What will we leave behind in 2014? What will we take into 2015? What will we do differently? What will stay the same? There is a reflection activity that I often use with my training participants called Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light. Let's use this activity to help us to reflect on last year and plan for the year to come.
The red light represents things that we want to stop. What are some things that you did in 2014 that you don't want to carry into 2015? Maybe it's a bad habit or behavior...or it could be some form of inactivity perhaps when it comes to exercise, or being organized. For me it's leading with my emotions and negative thinking. I've spent a lot of time really looking at and learning about myself this year and I've come to realize that the way that I react to things and the way that I think about things is truly the only thing that is holding me back from where I really want to be. It's not money, or time, or any of the other excuses that we often use when we talk about why we aren't where we are supposed to be in our lives. So my red light is that I plan to stop making decisions and reactions based on emotion as well as negative thinking and processing, all which ultimately lead to self-sabotage.
The yellow light represents things that you want to continue. It's all about acknowledging something that you have been doing that is working for you. At the end of 2010 I realized that I was 32 years old with tons of great accomplishments and success, and I made good money, but I had absolutely nothing to show for it. As a result, in 2011 and beyond I committed to financial literacy and freedom and it has completely turned my life around. It has increased my confidence and self-esteem and it has decreased my stress. Therefore my yellow light is that I will continue my journey to financial freedom in which I have intentionally mapped out a plan for 2015 that leads to the road to being an enlightened millionaire.
The green light represents something that you want to start. This year I want to start my own podcast. I want to be like the Oprah of the podcast world, using my show as a platform to educate, entertain and inspire the world.
What will you Stop (Red Light), Continue (Yellow Light), and Start (Green Light) in 2015? This week I challenge you to sit down and write, draw or visualize these things so that you will have a simple yet solid plan for the New Year.
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