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|Fri, December 4, 2015 at 1:12 PM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
Dear Future Hubster,
By nature I'm just a happy person. By my demeanor you'd never know some of the things I've been through. Honestly if I didn't have all this time to work on myself I'd probably never tell you. Somehow, I've been able to block things out...not forgetting...just deciding that things of the past don't matter.
But Future Hubs...they do. When I was a little girl I was abused by someone close to me...this, no doubt, caused a small deviation of my normal self but I went on with life vowing never again to be a victim...taking things that happened along the way with a grain of salt.
In my last major relationship I was isolated from everyone. Thank GOD for the train ride to and from work, as well as, work itself and church. During a petty argument I was told he was the only one that cared about me and at the time the feeling that no one else loved me was real. I felt all alone, my best friend had abandoned me, my father had died and my relationship with my mother wasn't the greatest. In tears I called one of my uncles because, along with this declaration that he was the only person that cared about me, I was afraid...there was a lot of yelling, throwing of things, punching holes in the wall and I was never sure if I was the next thing to be further altered.
Perhaps I haven't been so willing to fully give love another try because of the abuse...because to honestly be in a relationship you have to admit I've been abused. No matter if it's emotionally, physically, mentally or financially. When you've buried it, it's hard to say and even harder to place on the proverbial table along with your heart.
So Future Hubs, as I further learn myself...I'm placing all these things on the table.
|Tue, November 24, 2015 at 9:29 AM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
Dear Future Hubster,
I've been asked plenty of times, "Why don't you have a man?" And for the longest time my answer has been, "I'm picky!" Or my most famous line, "I don't take no B.S.!" Both statements are in fact true, but neither are the real reason why I don't have a man. While having a reflective moment, I realized that my desire to obtain, lol, and secure the love of my life all boils down to a small little word with a huge impact: TRUST! Coincidentally there's another word that needs TRUST that scares me even more, SUBMISSION.
You see at this age (bwhahahahahahaha...I sound as if I'm giving sound advice...right), I realize more that I have no real desire to casually date. For me there's a purpose, but you know that, right? For without the purpose of marriage, how would I be led to you??? In my misadventures of dating, I've yet to come across a man that I've felt that I could share my deepest darkest secrets or actually voice my insecurities to, and here's where trust comes to play. That's really my answer...
I don't have a man, because I haven't met someone that I can entrust my insecurities with. You know, those things that we even hide from our friends. I blindly and freely loved before and that person used my insecurities and abused my trust in the name of love. And the weirdest thing about all this is it wasn't until yesterday that I figured it all out. I long to love freely again, but I know it'll be a while before I can entrust you with these things. I can't wait to meet you!!!!
|Wed, September 23, 2015 at 3:02 PM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
Have you ever been stuck? Stuck in sadness, hurt, pain, insecurities? Or just plain stuck in life and you don't know what you want out life. You don't know what your purpose is. You're unhappy and you can't figure out the reason or reasons why you feel the way you do. I think everyone goes through some type of experience feeling "stuck" at one point or another.
I have battled sadness, feeling depressed and feeling unworthy of living my life. The darkness is overwhelming and it almost feels as if you're drowning and nobody can save you. I've felt inadequate working at a place where it feels as if it's out of my league to be there. I've experienced feeling as if I'm not smart enough or qualified enough to perform some of the tasks that have been required of me.
We as people are vulnerable to our emotions, the circumstances that we face and the environment that surrounds us. Sometimes we feel misunderstood by our family. Sometimes we stay in unhealthy relationships for much longer than we should for fear of being alone or for fear that there isn't anyone else in the world that will be better at loving us for who we are.
It took a lot for me to come out of this rut. Fortunately, I have been blessed with friends who I can count on to tell me the truth, not what I want to hear, but what I NEED to hear. It took a lot of soul searching. It took a lot of prayer. It took a lot of reading books and material that motivated and encouraged me to believe that I was sufficient, capable, adequate and more intelligent than I was giving myself credit for.
If you're feeling like this, let me be the first to tell you that YOU are enough. You are beautiful in all of your glory, flaws and all. Reach out to the people who you know will be there for you and love you unconditionally. Find a house of worship, regardless of your faith and connect with people who will give you encouragement, who will motivate you to be better, who will love and appreciate you despite your hurdles and downfalls. Pray and/or meditate. Create a time for yourself to love yourself and do something that you alone can do for yourself. With life's hustle and bustle, family, careers, school, etc. we forget that we need to love ourselves and relax. Listen to music that brings joy to your spirit. I remember going through a deep depression in my late teens and music helped me get out of that deep sadness. Read material that you think will help you feel better and will help you grow in whatever aspect of your life you'd like to improve on or grow in.
You will find yourself again. I know it's a process and it takes time to getting back to being 100% okay, so take your time and go at the pace that you feel comfortable moving until you find your stride. Just know that you are not alone. There is someone who loves you and cares for you enough to be by your side, even in your darkest moments. It's time to get up, shake off the negativity and darkness and lift up your eyes. Better days are coming and soon you'll have lifted off into the bright skies. You will be okay, I promise.
|Fri, June 19, 2015 at 4:04 PM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
It's that time of year again. E3 is upon us and it's time to see what the Big Three have been up to, to make us drool, pant and make us break down the internet. Let's start off with the Nintendo E3 conference. Nintendo's showing wasn't anything real major. No big software improvements or any real big names stood out in their conference. There were some interesting high points that are worth being covered:
Super Mario Maker is coming September 11th:
Have you ever played Mario and wondered who the hell thought of this level? Or have you ever seen the video that continuously circulates social media of the hellacious level of Mario that would make a grown man retreat into the fetal position? Well then, great news! You will now have the ability to make levels in Super Mario. An 8-Bit Mario Amiibo was also announced to accompany the game that will transform the player into an extra-large Mario in the game.
Skylanders and Nintendo join forces:
Nintendo and Activision have surprised the world and partnered together. This partnership will bring Nintendo characters to Skylanders games. New Amiibos are coming to Skylanders for the Wii U including a new magma version of Bowser that breathes fire. Amiibo lovers, parents and friends of Amiibo lovers prepare to part with some money. No official date has been announced.
Starfox is back:
Starfox Zero is on its way back this holiday season. The Nintendo 64 classic will be heading to the Wii U just in time to do a barrel roll with a new generation of gamers. You'll have access to a variety of vehicles including a drone and a walker ground unit. The focus will primarily be on flying. Shigeru Miyamoto stated he wants players to feel like they are flying an actual plane. So be on the look out.
Legend of Zelda: Triforce Heroes is coming to 3DS:
A multiplayer spinoff of the Four Swords series will be a puzzle game. You can work together to solve puzzles and fight your way through the dungeon.
Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer coming in Late 2015:
If you are looking for blood, guts, violence and everything else you'd expect from a majority of games, then this is definitely not the game for you. The Animal Crossing franchise is a break from the stereotypical game. You can play as your favorite cute animals while decorating your home and designing it. Its scheduled release date is September 25th.
Metroid Prime Federation Force coming in 2016:
Nintendo is continuing the Metroid Prime series with Metroid Prime Federation Force. The game will focus on four player co-op missions, as well as, some 3 on 3 sci-fi sports battles the first being shown in the trailer called Blast Ball.
Get wrapped up in Yoshi's Woolly World:
This time around the loveable Yoshi is a cute yarn creature. The new Yoshi lets you unravel enemies and interact with your stitched environment. There will also be an Amiibo (including a plush Amiibo). You'll also be able to turn Nintendo characters into weird Yoshi shaped creatures. This game is scheduled for an October release.
Mario Tennis is being served up this holiday:
Join Mario and your favorite Nintendo characters this holiday season for a game of tennis. Random power ups, crazy jumps and competitive moments with your friends and family. What more can you ask for?!
Don't toss out the Xbox 360 games just yet:
Microsoft has brought backwards compatibility to the Xbox One. Originally this was taken off the table when the Xbox One was in development. Now a year and a half later Microsoft has gone back to the idea and chosen to make backwards compatibility a thing on the Xbox One. By the end of the year 100 of last generation's games will be compatible with Xbox One.
New Customizable Controller:
The new "Elite" controller is a more standardized version of the Xbox gamepad. Its controls can be remapped and its directional pad can be swapped out. It works on Windows 10, as well as, Xbox One putting it in direct competition with the Steam controller.
Marvel at the large world in Halo 5:
E3 offered a better look of Halo 5, which was shown for the first time last year's E3, showing off its cooperative combat and it's over-the-top cinematic graphics. They've introduced a new multiplayer mode called Warzone. The maps in general are larger than previous version of Halo. Halo 5 is scheduled to come out in October.
Time to ReCore:
ReCore is a game made by Mega Man co-creator Keji Inafune. It's described as a cross between Stars Wars and Wall-E. An Xbox exclusive slated to come out spring of 2016
HoloLens and Minecraft are officially joined together:
After showing off a Minecraftesque demo for Microsoft's HoloLens headset it has now become office. You can create a pixelated world wherever you want just by using gestures and voice commands to build it. You'll get to know more about AR Minecraft this summer.
Gears of War 4 will arrive late next year:
Gears of War, the once Epic Games series that was recently acquired by Microsoft, is getting its first non-Epic installment. It's slated to come out for the holiday season of 2016.
The Last Guardian has arrived:
The conclusion of the Ico and Shadow of the Colossus trilogy that has been rumored for the E3 for the past few years has never appeared until now. It was set the tone for the day for Sony with a short, highly cinematic gameplay demo. It is scheduled to be release some time next year for PlayStation 4.
Arrow meets Jurassic World:
That's essentially what you get with Horizon: Zero Dawn post-apocalyptic robot dino hunting with a bow and arrow. There is no release date for the title right now. It's being developed by the same studio that brought you Killzone, Guerrilla Games.
Hitman is back:
Hitman is making its way to the PS4 with the next line up in the series. There doesn't seem to be a big difference between this version and all previous versions. Since there isn't much information, we will keep you up to date on anything else we find out about this title.
Street Fighter V punches through your wall early next year:
Street Fight V, the next saga in a classic fighting game series, will be arriving March of 2016 to Playstation. Those of you that are itching to get a glimpse of it can get an open preorder beta in July exclusively for the PS4.
Destiny gets a big expansion:
Destiny has gotten a couple of expansions but it seems The Taken King will be the biggest so far. It will include a new map, new gear, and a new strike mission amongst other things when it arrives in September.
Final Fantasy 7 and Shenmue:
This year is a good year for Japanese game fans. Not only are we getting The Last Guardian, but we will be getting, not a port, not a remaster, but a REMAKE of Final Fantasy 7. It will be coming first to PlayStation 4. Shenmue also has a third installment up on Kickstarter (which to date is at $3 Million+ and rising having reached its goal will definitely be coming out).
PlayStation Vue expands:
PlayStation Vue will be moving beyond its starter market and in to San Francisco and Los Angeles. It's also going to allow all users to subscribe to specific channels instead of buying package deals like regular TV.
All in all, this year's E3 was a great experience and showed some great promise in the gaming industry and as a fan of console gaming, things are looking up and we're enjoying the ride.
|Tue, June 16, 2015 at 10:37 PM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
So I walked into the movie theater in Silver Spring, MD to see a movie called Dope. I had only seen the trailer for the movie maybe three or four times so I wasn't too sure on what to expect from the movie. From the trailer it appeared to be your typical coming of age black guy in the hood trying to make it type movie. After watching the movie in its entirety, I can say I am more than happy that I was way off kilter with this assessment. Dope is a very hard movie to place into one category only because it has a little something for everyone. It has comedy by the boatloads, it addresses some issues in the black community that a lot of black people can relate to, it has some drama, some action and, most importantly with this movie, it has a message. The actors and actress that portrayed Malcolm, Jib, and Diggy did an excellent job of bringing them to life. I love how the movie had some well known supporting characters but gave the newcomers an opportunity to shine. This was also the perfect mesh of 90's hip-hop and today's technologically influenced society. I don't want to get too much into the details of the movie itself because I want everyone to go see it, but there are parts of this film that if you are a POC you will agree with wholeheartedly and almost give a standing ovation to. Dope overall is exactly what it is titled...DOPE. It is a must see for anyone that is looking for a great film to support. So go out on June 19th and check it out
|Fri, April 3, 2015 at 4:36 PM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
Dear Future Hubster,
Have you ever wished upon a star? When you were a child, did you envision life at 30? What about life in your 30's? Did you think about marriage? See I did and to be perfectly honest, Hubster, I didn't think life would be like this. When I was wishing upon those stars in the early 90's, I didn't think that I'd have to love through pain. See I've been here before and I'm scared. Scared to make the wrong move, scared to be vulnerable, scared to trust someone enough to have my back when the going gets tough, scared to place the thing I've worked so hard at mending...MY HEART in someone else's hands! Yes, me...I'M SCARED. I've loved someone during what was the toughest point in my life...while grieving the death of my father and the murder of my brother. I've loved while unsure of who I really was. It's hard trying to give your all to someone when your spirit's been broken (I wish someone would've told me this) when your world has been kicked off its axis and you're not even sure you want to live. I put on a good front for a while, but honestly Hubster, I was dying inside. I'm sharing this because in the midst of my fear I'm open to this love. One of the biggest lessons I learned from my previous experience is that there's no replacing the dead. I tried. I've had some time to sort my feelings out. I've most definitely hurt some people along the way (which I'm not proud of), but the most important things I've learned is what LOVE is & what I'm made of, lol, but I'm still scared. I know I have to let go and as much as the thought of you brings this peace to my spirit, part of me is still scared. I'm no chicken, Husbter. I just want you to know that beyond the laughs and superficiality this is me. I'm sure you're scared as well. So if you hold my hand, I promise we'll do this thing right, together. And finally, all that wishing we've both done will materialize.
|Wed, March 25, 2015 at 9:35 AM|Send Blog · Share on Facebook · Bookmark on Delicious
Dear Future Hubster, I want you to ride for me like Kanye rides for Kim...but in truth, wait hear me out...see I have no desire to capitalize on mistakes made by either of us nor exploit our faults and flaws...in fact dearest Hubster I just want our love to take center stage. I want our private adoration of each other to be displayed publicly...like DWade and Gabrielle Union...like borderline Kanye and Amber Rose at the AMAs...minus the Hennessey, so all that see, read and hear will know that this kind of love is attainable, not just black love but true love. Let's be like Baby and Johnny (Dirty Dancing) defying the odds, breaking down barriers and a source of enlightenment for the both of us. I'm talking about LOVE only spoken about in either the Bible or lore. I mean the perfect mix of Agape, Eros and Philo...the kind of love where we're sooooo in love with God and each other that the love pours out to our neighbors...you know...like it's contagious. I want us to mutually support each other in a way that makes the world take notice...like it's more than something on the surface, it's an energy felt in our presence. Let's be the new standard...let's be the new fist bump. Before we even meet at the altar, let's decide that it's us against the world but also for the world. Let's be Cliff and Clare Huxtible, ensuring that we're both satisfied in our respective careers/passions/fields while raising sons and daughters that will be their generation's leaders and trendsetters. Let's be the change we seek. Let's spend afternoons on the porch talking about everything and nothing at all...I want us to have the Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore kinda love...love that transcends the here and now. Hubster I hope you're ready. ~Wo